He Knows My Name

Something that I have always struggled with is that I want people to like me. Now, I know that everyone is like this, but I just want to cry sometimes because I want to make friends. I have written about this numerous times on my blog but sometimes it just rears its ugly head again. I find that I am always comparing myself to other people on their blogs and thinking why can't I be like that? Or why can't my life be like that? Or why can't I get invited to do really fun bloggy friend things when I read and comment on all those blogs too? I think, maybe if I comment just one more time, or maybe if I get up enough courage to put myself out there in an email, then the person will respond back and I can feel better about myself. I so desire to be included into things and then have a pity party that I am a working mom, so I don't get to do all those really fun things like other mommies get to do. And I don't get to be friends with all of them, and they probably don't even know that I exist in the first place.

You see, it's just UGLY what I think about!!!

So last night after worrying about this again, I started praying that God would just take that desire away from me. Not that it is bad to want friends, but that I obsess about it! That is what is sinful. I don't need to worry about how many people know who I am or invite me to things. But I was just laying it out before God before I went to sleep that He would take that sinful nature away from me in the craving for attention, I guess would really be the word and that just makes it sound even worse when I write it out, that I am just being a big baby!

So then, what do you know, but this morning I opened up my Bible study (which I had not done all week yet) and wouldn't know you it, but it was all about how God knows our name and we are famous and popular to Him! If that wasn't a slap in the face (or actually a gentle hug), I don't know what is!!! He was very pointedly telling me that He would take that desire from me and that I am being called by my name by Him. That He knows what my name is, even if no other blogger or person does and I never get invited to one little thing, He calls me from where I am and loves me just as I am. I love how God uses His scripture to tell us things!!!

But now, God's Message, the God who made you in the first place, Jacob, the One who got you started, Israel: "Don't be afraid, I've redeemed you. I've called your name. You're mine. Isaiah 43:1

His Word is Alive and Active

Back in December, Beth Moore announced that she would be doing her Scripture Memorization "club" again this year. I was sooo excited and called my mom and Kicken to see if they wanted to do it too. I then asked several ladies at work if they wanted to join in. Several people have dropped out along the way, but it is sooo neat to see God using this as a way for us to grow! It gets me excited everytime I think about it. And it still amazes me how these verses just pop into my head at just the moment I need them. I don't know why I doubt the power of God sometimes!!!

In July I decided that I am going to start memorizing Psalm 139. It is my very favorite Psalm and I am going to do 2 verses every 2 weeks through the end of the year. If you didn't join up with Beth in January, maybe you want to start with me in July. I will remind you when it gets closer and I am going to start memorizing. But until then, I have been writing my verses on the sidebar, but here they are again:

You crown the year with Your goodness, and Your paths drip with abundance. Psalm 65:11

Forget about what's happened. Don't keep going over old history. Be alert, be present. I'm about to do something brand new! It's bursting out! Don't you see it? There it is! I'm making a road through the desert and rivers through badlands. Isaiah 43:18-19

For God has not given us the spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:7

Who among the gods is like You, O Lord? majestic in holiness, awesome in glory, working wonders? Exodus 15:11

For I could have no greater joy than to hear that my children are following the Truth. 3 John 1:4

Charm can fool you, and beauty can trick you, but a woman who respects the Lord should be praised. Proverbs 31:30

After yesterday...

I have been in a slump with my quiet times lately and I need something fresh. Mostly I was just reading through a book of the Bible, but I don't ever seem to really "get" a lot when I do that, because I feel like I am just reading and not studying the Word. So last night as I was falling asleep, I prayed that God would show me in the morning what devotional book to dust off from the shelf this morning when I went to do my quiet time.

This morning when I woke up, I brushed my teeth, kissed my hubby goodbye and then walked into the den and looked at my shelf of unfinished Bible studies. My hand picked up several of them and then my eyes landed on my Beth Moore Bible study of the Fruit of the Spirit. Something told me to do this one. I had done the study several years ago at church, but stopped when there were about 2 weeks left and I had stopped the homework right in the middle of a week. So I decided I was going to start right where I had left off.

And wouldn't you know it, but there was a Word there for ME!!! Why do I ever doubt God?

The main topic was Goodness and the main verse was Matthew 25:14-30 (the parable of the talents):

14 "Again, it will be like a man going on a journey, who called his servants and entrusted his property to them. 15 To one he gave five talents of money, to another two talents, and to another one talent, each according to his ability. Then he went on his journey. 16 The man who had received the five talents went at once and put his money to work and gained five more. 17 So also, the one with the two talents gained two more. 18 But the man who had received the one talent went off, dug a hole in the ground and hid his master's money. 19 "After a long time the master of those servants returned and settled accounts with them. 20 The man who had received the five talents brought the other five. 'Master,' he said, 'you entrusted me with five talents. See, I have gained five more.' 21 "His master replied, 'Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!' 22 "The man with the two talents also came. 'Master,' he said, 'you entrusted me with two talents; see, I have gained two more.' 23 "His master replied, 'Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!' 24 "Then the man who had received the one talent came. 'Master,' he said, 'I knew that you are a hard man, harvesting where you have not sown and gathering where you have not scattered seed. 25 So I was afraid and went out and hid your talent in the ground. See, here is what belongs to you.' 26 "His master replied, 'You wicked, lazy servant! So you knew that I harvest where I have not sown and gather where I have not scattered seed? 27 Well then, you should have put my money on deposit with the bankers, so that when I returned I would have received it back with interest. 28 " 'Take the talent from him and give it to the one who has the ten talents. 29 For everyone who has will be given more, and he will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken from him. 30 And throw that worthless servant outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.'

This is exactly what I was talking about yesterday. In that I need to be faithful in what God has given me right now and then I will get to "be in charge of many things and share in my master's happiness". If He trusts me with this and give me an abundance in this time, then I will be entrusted with even more gifts (not necessarily monetary, but blessings none the less!)

And to close, this verse really stood out to me:

Guard the good deposit that was entrusted to you--guard it with the help of the Holy Spirit who lives in us. 2 Timothy 1:14

I have been given a "good deposit". I was given a wonderful job and I was given a great family. I need to guard these things and do the best that I can at it. It may not be easy, or what I want all the time, but the Holy Spirit will help me through it, and in the end God will get all the glory!

Isaiah 40

My sister put these verses on her blog a few weeks ago and they really spoke to me. Then this morning I was reading for my quiet time and they popped out at me again.

So who even comes close to being like God? To whom or what can you compare him?
Some no-god idol? Ridiculous! It's made in a workshop, cast in bronze, Given a thin veneer of gold, and draped with silver filigree. Or, perhaps someone will select a fine wood - olive wood, say - that won't rot, Then hire a woodcarver to make a no-god, giving special care to its base so it won't tip over! Have you not been paying attention? Have you not been listening? Haven't you heard these stories all your life? Don't you understand the foundation of all things? God sits high above the round ball of earth. The people look like mere ants. He stretches out the skies like a canvas - yes, like a tent canvas to live under. He ignores what all the princes say and do. The rulers of the earth count for nothing. Princes and rulers don't amount to much. Like seeds barely rooted, just sprouted, They shrivel when God blows on them. Like flecks of chaff, they're gone with the wind. "So - who is like me? Who holds a candle to me?" says The Holy. Look at the night skies: Who do you think made all this? Who marches this army of stars out each night, counts them off, calls each by name - so magnificent! so powerful! - and never overlooks a single one?
Why would you ever complain, O Jacob, or, whine, Israel, saying, "God has lost track of me. He doesn't care what happens to me"? Don't you know anything? Haven't you been listening? God doesn't come and go. God lasts. He's Creator of all you can see or imagine. He doesn't get tired out, doesn't pause to catch his breath. And he knows everything, inside and out. He energizes those who get tired, gives fresh strength to dropouts. For even young people tire and drop out, young folk in their prime stumble and fall. But those who wait upon God get fresh strength. They spread their wings and soar like eagles, They run and don't get tired, they walk and don't lag behind.
Isaiah 40:18-31

Those last verses just made me tingle. It is amazing how in my tiredness from Easton waking up, or my weariness from going to work every day, that "He doesn't get tired out, doesn't pause to catch his breath!" Right now we are going through finding out the treatment for my Nana that was diagnosed wth cancer. And yet, this doesn't surprise Him in the least bit. "He knows everything, inside and out".
I also found out yesterday that EmmyKate's best friend's daddy was in a motorcycle accident and they are trying to get fluid off his lungs. He broke every rib in his chest and had internal bleeding, yet again "he knows everything, inside and out". He is going to give that young mommy "fresh strength" when she can't do anything more for her 4 girls. And he is going to energize her when she gets tired. Right now I am just praying these verses over her to get her through this time.
I hope these verses speak to you and allow you to reflect on God's goodness.

Sea of Sin

Tonight at Bible study we looked at Revelation 4 and 5. I love this study and I love learning how everything is going to come together at the end; how God has started things and He already knows exactly what will happen! Chapter 4 describes the Throne Room and one part really stuck out to me. Beth Moore talked about that there is a sea of glass in front of God's Throne. It doesn't say in Revelation what this sea is, however there is a verse in Micach that just might explain it.

Who is a God like you, who pardons sin and forgives the transgression of the
remnant of his inheritance? You do not stay angry forever but delight to show
mercy. You will again have compassion on us; you will tread our sins underfoot
and hurl all our iniquities into the depths of the sea. Micah 7:18-19

She talked about how the sea of glass that is sitting in front of the Throne could actually be the sea that He is going to hurl our sins (iniquities) into. Is that not mind blowing!!! He has it sitting right in front of him to toss everything into! He is that quick to forgive us when we ask for it!
Then the other part that is really neat is that it is a sea of glass. Now glass is clear, right? So, if all of our sins are in that vessel then it should be muddied. However, it is glass. He throws them in and they vanish; they are forgiven; never to be seen again. It gives me goosebumps to think about that. Our God is so loving that He is willing to have our sins disgarded right in front of Him and He remembers them no more!

There were many, many things that I found interesting last night, but I will mention 1 other. In the Bible it talks about that there are 4 creatures at God's Throne. In Ezekiel it talks about how these creatures have wheels. Now, I never really thought about it, but God has to move. There are times in the Bible where He met Moses on the moutainside, so He had to get there somehow. However, He never leaves His Throne. He is always seated on it. Therefore, what these creatures probably do is wheel Him around. I know that is kindof a childish way of thinking about it, but it just made me smile. That our huge God has to get around somehow and He has 4 creatures to do it for Him!

So, just wanted to share in what I am learning. It is fascinating to me and I can't wait to go back next week and learn more!

Seeing God's Hand

Last night we went to the visitation for the tragedy that happened last Thursday. We had gone to church with this family from the time I was in 9th grade until we left the church in 2004. The husband and wife had gone on mission trips with the youth group and had been a big part of our life. The wife never had children (the man who died was her stepson and did not live with them), so she kind of adopted all of us. Even though she would make me mad when she got onto us girls about our short-shorts, I know she did it out of love and I respect her so much for standing up to us and telling us like it is. This family will always hold a special place in my heart.

Going last night we saw lots of people from that church. There are days that I desperately want to go back there because it does not matter how long you have been away, they are always family. Do any of you have a church like that? I know that if something happened, I could call them up and everyone would be there in the blink of an eye. The majority of them don't go there anymore because of many things that the Holy Spirit has convicted us all of, so it wouldn't be the same as going back, but it still makes me want to have everything back the way it was in 1999. Sitting here and writing this makes me tear up to think of the people there and how I desperately miss them.

My youth minister, Jeff Chambers, was there last night. You may remember a few months ago, I wrote about him coming for a visit from Tennessee. I felt such peace last night seeing him and it made me want to stay for the memorial service (we didn't stay because of EK). I knew that with him doing the service that it would be breathtaking and my mom said it was just that. She cried through the majority of the service and was crying as she called me last night because he had done such a beautiful job. It was very hard for him to do the service because this family is his second family. They are who he stays with when he comes into Houston and he didn't want to do the service, but knew he had to because they are his family. My mom said several times he had to stop to compose himself and get through the rest of it.

In speaking with the family last night, it seems like they are going to get to keep the little girl. They both made comments to me about "What is it is like to have a 2 year old?" and "I have a little girl now". I think they are still in shock. I am praying that I get to minister to them just like they ministered to me through my high school years. I hope that I get to be a light for them and can be a comfort for them. Once things settle down I am going to email the wife and let her know if she ever needs any kind of mom advice or "I am going to tear my hair out, I need help" she can call me. I am only 5 minutes away.

I know this is all over the place, but back to the beginning where I said that the wife has never had children. That is not completely correct. When we were in high school, they took in a high school girl that was having lots of problems. She lived with them for several years (I think). I told my mom the other day, that looking back on this now, maybe this was God's way of preparing them for raising their granddaughter. Maybe they had to start at the end in order to get to the beginning. They have been through the rough and tough stuff with that girl, and maybe that was God's way of saying "You can do this, I provided then and I will provide now." I could be wrong, but I know everything He does is for a reason and all of this was in His hand.

I wrote this verse the other day, but then read it in the Message and it made me tingle with joy, so I will end with it:

God can do anything, you know-far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams. He does it not by pushing us around, but by working within us, His Spirit deeply and gently within us. Ephesians 3:20

Memorizing Scripture

Okay, I was really bad and did not memorize a new scripture for the whole month of March, but here is my verse for this time around:

God's love is meteoric, His loyalty astronomic, His purpose titanic, His
verdicts oceanic. Yet in His largeness nothing gets lost; Not a man, not a
mouse, slips through the cracks. How exquiste Your love, O God!
Psalm 36:5-7a

Is that not the neatest thing you have ever read! It makes me have goosebumps to think that He is that big, yet He still does not let us fall from His hands. Nothing is too small for Him!

I am also still reading in my 1 year Bible. I only got behind 1 time and quickly caught up. I look forward every morning to reading and have already made it through Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, Matthew and Mark!!!

Memorizing Scripture

Here is the scripture I will be memorizing the next several weeks:

Who among the gods is like You, O Lord?
Who is like You-majestic in
holiness, awesome in glory,
working wonders?
Exodus 15:11

Are any of you memorizing with me?

Scripture Memory

It is time for my next memory verse. Here is what I memorized the last 2 weeks:

He is your constant source of stability; He abundantly provides safety and great
wisdom; He gives all of this to those who fear Him. Isaiah 33:6

And here is what I am memorizing this time:

When your words came, I ate them;
they were my joy and my heart's
delight,
for I bear your name,
O LORD God Almighty.
Jeremiah 15:16

Doesn't that first line just made you tingle. I love how God's word can fill us up so much that it is as if we ate them!!! There is nothing like being fulfilled in Him!
Here are a few pictures of the beautiful sunrise that S took on his way to Dallas on Monday.